A Guide to Stevens Point
As my time here in Pointerville, USA comes to a close I wanted to give back to all you. (Okay, maybe I’m just really bored and don’t want to do homework even though I only have 2 weeks of formal education left.) I hear a lot of people talking smack about Stevens Point saying it’s “boring” and “there’s nothing to do here” well if you’re one of those people eat my shorts. This place is an absolute gem. Would I spend the rest of my life here? Absolutely not, but for a college town it’s excellent. So in the spirit of giving I would like to give you my guide to Stevens Point. Think of it at Matt’s Declassified SP Survival Guide.
The Townies
First, you need to know about the townies. Anyone ever noticed how many old people there are? I’m not sure they ever leave this place. As a general rule of thumb I would avoid them if possible. I can see them judging me as they smell the suburban lifestyle oozes from my body. There is no shot in H E double hockey sticks they like the college kids. We are too young and in touch for their 1960s style town and lifestyle. I spent 3 years dealing with them at the YMCA and the swim politics are insane. No offense to anyone who’s from here but the people here are just a different breed. Exceptions to this rule:
- If you are at work
- Sadie Adamski (or any of your friends from here if they’re cool)
- Justin Stoffel
- If one of them challenges you to a game of pool
That’s it. Otherwise, mind your own business and they will do the same. Definitely do not burn a Christmas tree in the street by their house. They have shovels.
Dining establishments
Things may seem limited here in Stevens Point but do not be fooled, there are some great spots. Here are some excellent places to eat:
The Wooden Chair: I will start with good old fashion breakfast. It’s the most important meal of the day and The Wooden Chair is excellent. It is an all female staff (girl power) and they absolutely kill the classics. Olmets are the best in town and their specialty pancakes are unreal.
South Point: Wildly underrated. Kind of bummed I did not go here at least once a week. It’s a classic dive/diner place with greasy breakfast food. Excellent for hangovers (unless you’re Libby) and comes out cheaper than Debot if you do it right.
China Wok: This place recently reopened and man I forgot how big a gut punch it gives you. Average food aside, it is the best post practice location. Lunch is $8.75 of all you can eat chinese food. Check it out after stand-ups next year.
Monk’s: This place is in Plover over by Wal-mart and their burgers are outstanding. Best bar food in the area, with very solid pizza. Great spot for date night for all you love birds.
PJ’s: This place has been closed for over a year now but it is reopening on June 1st. It is in the Sentry complex and the food is very nice. Pasta’s are great, and the sandwiches slap. Absolute must after a meet or to celebrate a birthday. Parents love this place. Very not Stevens Point kind of restaurant.
Father Fats: Father Fats is like a slice of city life in the middle of this small town. They have a tapas style menu so you can just feast on everything on small plates. The food is my personal favorite in town. In addition, the wine menu is overwhelming so it is a great spot for wine people. It is pretty pricey so maybe go with your parents for your birthday or something.
Bill’s Pizza: I consider myself a bit of a pizza cono sur and this is the best in town. The pizza is Stevens Point stinks but the thin crust from Bill’s is awesome.
Overall, go eat local. Emmy J’s and Zest have great coffee, Guu’s and Graffiti’s have great wings, and there is even a vegan place I’ve heard is solid. The food here in SP is surprisingly good. Do not be afraid to adventure a little.
Places to go and Things to do
Stevens Point and its surrounding area has plenty to do. If you think otherwise you are not looking hard enough. In this section I would like to enlighten you on what to do if you are bored.
The Outdoors: Outdoor opportunities in the area are endless. There are thousands of fishing spots, places to hike, or hammock. Schmeckle is the easiest. It is right on campus and really a great slice of nature. Plenty of places to lay in a hammock, and plenty of trails to run (if you’re into that kind of thing). Other than that though, only 30 minutes away are both Rib Mountain, and Hartman Creek State Parks. Both are super nice and definitely a great spot to spend a saturday afternoon. Outside of hiking there is Iverson Park only a short walk down main street and Sunset beach about 20 minutes east of here. Both are great beach spots to tan or jump in the water, maybe have a couple if you are of age. (I do not suggest drinking Fireball straight from the bottle at Iverson. It attracts too much attention)
Putt-n-play: Not sure why we don’t bring more recruits here. There is a mini putt course, and a laser tag arena. It’s like all the fun shit you did for middle school birthday parties but now you’re older and it’s just as fun.
Bowling: Friday night bowling is absolutely electric. Once you “turn 21” you must attend. $25 all you and bowl and drink. There is nothing more satisfying than rolling a strike on game three when you’re like nine rum and cokes deep.
Downtown SP: You can spend hours walking through shops downtown. Great place to grab a coffee on saturday morning and just wander through stores and antique shops. Not to mention it is right by the river front which is also a great spot to walk and just chill.
Outside of those things do not be afraid to explore a little. Wisconsin has a ridiculous drinking culture so there are always more bars and breweries to attend. Go see what Point has to offer. There is always more to do than you think.
Other Advice
The NFAC: If you are bored at the library, take a break and wander through the NFAC. It is really nice and the art work is kind of cool. Maybe even take in a show one night.
DUC: The free movies are the most underrated thing on campus. They always show good ones and it is free. The Brew Haus is always great. Beer, pool, and darts. Just like me at the bars.
Joe’s Bar: I have a slightly weird love for Joe’s. When you are of age always start your night DT at Joes. Great vibes, cheap and large drinks. Do not waste your money on Graffiti’s drinks. They are too small. Also great weeknight spot postseason. Bar is usually empty and you get to control the music.
The Great House of Blue: When all else fails go to Blue. (Not anymore this year, the basement is closed. Blame yourselves for fucking our walls)
Do not be afraid to dance: Underclassmen dictate the vibe of all shindigs. That is their job. Do not be too cool to dance. It is an absolute blast is you say fuck it and cut a rug. No matter how talented you are, just send it.
Just Love Each Other: Drama is only real because you make it real. Be yourself and do not let anything get in the way of that. College is supposed to be fun.
I don’t even know why I wrote this or what I wrote. I just figured it was a better use of my time than watching Jeopardy. If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I hope it helped.
Sincerely,
Kark McCoy
P.S. Google Docs STINKS. Why would anyone actually use this?
